We bring you news, hot from.. umm... the school?

We have unearthed a disturbing piece of information on who-goes-so (hu-go-so) far to eat from a knife, instead of from the usual fork and spoon. Society has classified such behaviours to be signs of uncivilised thinking or unsound state of mind. The former being highly possible.

After doing preliminary observation on the above mentioned guy, he is found to be highly violent when confronted. He was known to be a highly versatile rugby player with a rather huge appetite for everything. (Like everything.. incl ppl.. if you catch my drift.. okay that was a joke) So a warning to all, please do not attempt to disarm this guy if you find him around, for all you know he could be hiding a knife in his mouth! You MUST call the security team in your vicinity to report him and the respective people would come and subdue him.

Another interesting report directs the attention to MHCHING. Commonly known as ChineseMapHacker or MH. The press have managed to procure a picture of this professor (hes also the guy that experiments with test tubes) in exchange for large amount of effort.

See the fatigue in his eyes? It is doubtless that his experiments are nearing the completion stage where nothing should jeopardise his work. He has also growth rather violent these days, so watch out for these guy too!

On a lighter note, if you guys really love avatar that much that you wanna become one of those blue-headed, dumpy-looking stuff, check out http://www.avatarizeyourself.com/

Thats all

This issue of the newsletter aims to bring about fun and laughter to all.

The publishing team spent time and effort and many sleepless night just to find a slogan generator. Enter your name and it will generate a nice slogan for you.

Here's an example:

Now what do you do when u need to be serious and mug?

And finally, since butter usually comes in blocks....

Here's all the fun stuff we have for you this issue.

Quote of the day:

Yes all, cause i know that you are either 09s64 or some random person hoping to chance upon some sensational news of the 09s64 blog. :P

This update is due to continuous harassment from members of the s64 community for news. Please do not be alarmed as the editor of the blog is currently safe, despite repeated threats from the kp-ic.

On a brighter note...

Its orientation for the Jc1s!~ *cue for audience claps and cheers*

Let's err... Ad Infinitum? But hang on, we are Jc2s we had already revved-it-up, our seniors jumped-started. So this year we are supposed, no i mean the council and fac comm, are supposed to bring the j1s to infinity. I have no idea how they are gonna manage that since there is nothing much at infinity. We've been there in math and physics lesson, so I know there's honestly nothing much there. So don't torture the poor kids.

Also, since S-M-J was yesterday, our (NEW) reporter Mr Ultimate (aka THE. Derric) provided us with footage on how the chief executive of Hugo Balls was brought to his knees to propose to Miss Han. Apparently having a lot of balls (I meant rugby balls by the way, since he is also the vice-captain of the rugby team) does not prevent a man from kneeling down for the sake of love.

Attached we have footage. Courtesy of THE Derric.

Finally we conclude this issue of the Press's newsletter. Please do look out for updates and participate actively in contributing exciting footages. All videos and photos would be posted here, WITHOUT CUTS! (I'm not kidding) but is subjected to copyright laws and personal requests. (Again, personal requests are considered on a case-by-case basis)

For details on how to contribute you may contact: the-man-that-practically-live-at-the-s64-bench

OR

call: the-man-that-lives-at-the-s64-bench

ALTERNATIVELY

you may approach all 09s64-ians. N'am sure they'll treat all information with care.

ALSO

you can leave your devices (with the information) in the green box at the s64 class bench and attach a message to say that it is to: the-man-that-lives-at-the-s64-bench and he will get it.

Propaganda message:

Please treat our juniors well. Together we can make a cleaner class bench for you and me. (Cause there are quite some floor-mopping talents, that can join Drug Lord Chen, in 10s64 too!)

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*Meaning can be viewed:
Untrusted source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollocks

Slightly more trusted but not very trusted: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bollocks

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More insights into The Prince's life:

To put it in the simplest terms: He live life to the fullest.

Substantiation? (see at video below)

Whats more engaging is the fact that he, him and that only trio (Kevin, Ishak & Tanzil) employed many people simply for the sand-bath. Many issues ago, the press had made a unforgivable mistake of claiming that the sun is not good for the Prince. The palace officially issued a complain and the press was forced to suspend operations. The ban was reversed only yesterday due to opinions from an enraged crowd at a certain class-bench in a certain school.

The press officially APOLOGISE to His Royal Highness for all damage done to his reputation.

We sincerely urge other parties to check their facts before reporting them on any platforms.

(And why are we wasting text apologising? Let's get back...)

His sand-bathing business was a hot topic in every corner of that "certain school". It was rumoured that the famed volleyball player, Melvin Goh, has endorsed HRH as the "MSG"(Most shuai GUY. For details on why MSG read on...) His popularity was expanded as far as the edges of the school since. Parties involved had declined interviews but simply said "it has to be kept within the school"

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Rising to err terror?

Mr WangKH aka the AK-47 has revitalized the word ACRONYM. Not directly but literally. (what a waste of space, never mind, just trying to fill up space). AK-47 stands for Acronym King number 47. It is not reference to the gun. The number simply meant how many Kings were there before him. Mr Wang has revolutionised the use of acronym. Standard acronym's would not suffice. His main areas of research includes many different acronyms for long phrases or sentences. One very prominent example is FML. It contains multiple meaning.

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With that, the Press wishes those who are taking Major Examinations in 2 weeks time, "GOOD LUCK AND DO WELL!"

Advertisement:

Want to see your name here? Contribute footage of any interesting happenings and you MIGHT see your Name featured here. No worries, it would neither be identified as ANONYMOUS nor would it be labelled as soft as someone or something.

Jokers' Association Press, Issue 10

Registration number: 230909

Warning: Lots of Videos ~ (enjoy!!)

However, we must first credit out photographers... with KPIC as the official photographer. Rumours have it that he was assaulted numerous times due to his unorthodox viewpoints and methods in obtaining pictures. One example is demonstrated below. It turns out as amazing as being open and direct might just be the way for the new era of photography.

Now, now.. who is this individual that is trying to hide his face? Obviously someone is guilty of abusing test tubes...

Updates on Mr Fac Prince:

As mentioned in the previous issue from the Press, the fac prince strikes again! We mentioned about him "light-bathing" and there u go. Proof that he is allergic to the sun.

Here's another shot:

And since he is allergic to the sun, he cant play sports outdoors... SO.... he resulted to playing sport in the auditorium... the following video has been used for softball players aspiring to become the world best players. It was recently acclaimed as 'sporting video of the year'.

Want to know how he train Kung-Fu?

There it is. The simplest yet most effective way. Hitting against the wall. :P

After all those leisure activities, the fac prince settles down. BUT the fun NEVER STOPS!! During his free time, he sings. Being a prince he does not simply sing any random song. He picks songs that top music charts all over the world. Unnamed sources reveal that he sings the song (featured in the video) when he is free.

Now to other less popular figures.

(Who are rising to stardom)

Starring: MCQ (model councillor QUEK) and The (Ultimate) Derric (aka FK - not the vulgarity, it means Frisbee Kid okay..)

Apparently having a loud voice and being cheeky, cheerful, cheery means that you'll always have the upper hand. And that includes when you are against The Ultimate. Random outbursts also helps. xD

Now thats really information overload.

Images and videos courtesy of Jiaklormee (KPIC in short) BBOY JH and myself (DUH -.- who else can it be?)

Thats all from Jokers' Association Press, Issue 9

Registration number: 040809