Hello! We are 09S64 from hwachonginstitution!
We love fun and excitement, and we'll do anything for you because we're simply NICE people!
Now now, we make loads of noise too (mainly the guys) but that's not a crime is it? :)
The Class:
Ching Meng Hang
Jereld Tan
Timothy Yong
Leong Jing Wei
Wang Kuan He
Kevin Ishak Tanzil
Quek Baifeng
Derric Ong
Hugo So
Chuang Xue An
Jeremy Ang
Melvis Lim
Tan Kai Yu
Guo Shu
Han Zheyi
Chen Jiehan
Earest Wong
Alvin Sng
Shi Jiahui
Yu Chenxing
Liu Chen
Luo Lingjie
Sun Tianjia
Su Kuang
Tan Wenshan
However, we must first credit out photographers... with KPIC as the official photographer. Rumours have it that he was assaulted numerous times due to his unorthodox viewpoints and methods in obtaining pictures. One example is demonstrated below. It turns out as amazing as being open and direct might just be the way for the new era of photography.
Now, now.. who is this individual that is trying to hide his face? Obviously someone is guilty of abusing test tubes...
Updates on Mr Fac Prince:
As mentioned in the previous issue from the Press, the fac prince strikes again! We mentioned about him "light-bathing" and there u go. Proof that he is allergic to the sun.
Here's another shot:
And since he is allergic to the sun, he cant play sports outdoors... SO.... he resulted to playing sport in the auditorium... the following video has been used for softball players aspiring to become the world best players. It was recently acclaimed as 'sporting video of the year'.
Want to know how he train Kung-Fu?
There it is. The simplest yet most effective way. Hitting against the wall. :P
After all those leisure activities, the fac prince settles down. BUT the fun NEVER STOPS!! During his free time, he sings. Being a prince he does not simply sing any random song. He picks songs that top music charts all over the world. Unnamed sources reveal that he sings the song (featured in the video) when he is free.
Now to other less popular figures.
(Who are rising to stardom)
Starring: MCQ (model councillor QUEK) and The (Ultimate) Derric (aka FK - not the vulgarity, it means Frisbee Kid okay..)
Apparently having a loud voice and being cheeky, cheerful, cheery means that you'll always have the upper hand. And that includes when you are against The Ultimate. Random outbursts also helps. xD
Lesson of the month, do NOT ever suggest to play stack if you know the stakes are high. Reason? You will get the worse out of suggesting it. Don't believe? Look at the video. Mr Designer Label got himself into some really big joke. He tried to get everyone to stack, but ended up clearing everything. Apparently having a person VS an entire table full of people who have a plan, is not desirable. Even so, Mr Designer Label have got himself into many instances of clearing plates, but the featured video is never seen before, with number of cutlery at its highest number.
Now thats really information overload.
Images and videos courtesy of Jiaklormee (KPIC in short) BBOY JH and myself (DUH -.- who else can it be?)
Many once said predicting future is purely bull***
But science (& technology) has against proven this myth to be wrong. Apparently our fac prince is known to be thrify and frugal and choose to live a life of low profile. However, being a person in Golden Village is hardly low profile. But we must respect his decision.
I believe there must be some kind of fault in the program, (i'm sure the prince will sue the program maker for slander) as he actually a golden village idiot. Not any random village idiot. Apart from prince, we also have a dog walker.. which turns out to be our president. He expressed his views on the matter and decided that its better than being an idiot.
Special from IN-sight:
Unknown stranger is after the princess!
During the school holidays while everyone was mugging away in preparation for the block test, a certain mysterious individual was spotted in the reading room attempting to swindle the pure, innocent and small princess... (refer to image below)
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FUN FACT: the princess is recognised by Designer Label SO as being 'fat' which i believe is some serious parallex error on his end. Perhaps his science tutor would like to look into the issue of his eyesight as the SPA exams are coming up.
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The individual is known by his signature 'Boom Boom Pow!' and his affiliation to the Omega wristwatch company. Furthermore, his authority has expanded to not just his subordinates but also his superiors. He said and I quote:"Mrs XX ah, make me wait"* Although he was just waiting to get a few forms and the time taken was a few minutes, he expressed his displeasure through direct means. More details on this mysterious individual will be revealed in the coming issue of THE Newsletter#.
*original idea was retained. Surname was censored to protect the identity of the person being mentioned.
#Idea of prefix "The" is adopted from The Derric Ong. All copyrights belong to the Association.
The Press officially apologise for the delay in news, as our chief editior had to sort out various media copyright issues with a certain group who are working towards conserving the media copyright laws in Singapore. It is rumoured that this group of people have the backing of the KPIC and is not to be messed with.
And now bringing you more news coverage on the royalties...
There is a new law being enacted "Lese majeste" meant to protect the public image of the royalties. And so, pictures or videos showing the royalties in unglam actions MIGHT not be posted.
Laws aside, the Fac Prince had kindly graced a school event as the guest of honour. Despite the lack in preparation on the organising team's part (like not having escorts and red carpets), the prince hid his displeasure by simply staring around as though he was looking for someone and then walk to the front when he was called upon to give out the prizes. His aide, Mr Chuang, the President of the Jokers' Association attempted to get the prince to move, but the prince's hensum-ness got Mr Chuang gaping at him.
Here is a video on what happened on that day:
However, earlier that day, according to our reporter, Mr Kevin was spotted light-bathing in the classroom. Apparently the sunlight at the beach is not suitable for the hensum boi.
In a separate case:
The sleeper agent AWAKES! Mr Luo was seen pitting his arm strength with a unknown person. Perhaps Mr Luo's long hours of hibernation during lectures and tutorials are for a reason. Researchers are searching for the reason for his unusual sleeping pattern. And now that he unleashes his full power, the world stares in awe, a phenomenon in a millenia unveils. Many awaits disasters and calamity, while the rest live in anxiety.
Apparently the national floater was deprived of being cute when he was young. Many believed that indulged himself in volleyball training. Such a sacrifice is not unheard of. But his accomplishment is a never-been-seen before kind. With his presence in the Hwa Chong Volleyball team, the team managed to clinched the championship title. During the rounds of intense competition, the team relied on him for his prodigious skills in sending off floating serves that totally ignited the deepest fear in the opponents' hearts. Even without him playing, his godly presence release a formidable aura that bolstered the team's morale and fighting spirit by (143.994 x mc^2)times. (where m = mass of player and c = speed of light in a vacuum)
However, during lesson our physics tutor decided to help him claim back what was lost in the past. A pacifier sweet. How simple, yet awesome.
Now lets get back to our KPIC.
As mentioned before, KPIC (Mr Jeremy ANG) is a pioneer in the kaopei-ing field
From issue 2: "..believe that My Jeremy (our KPIC) is a true pioneer in the field of kaopei-ing..."
His latest form of kaopei-ing includes this: (4sec clip watch at least twice)
He indulges in Kaopei-ing "truly, madly, deeply". And once again, he brought kp-ing to a whole new level. His ultimate phrase, "LOSER!!" or (okay shant state, its coarse.. its a prefix to descriptions..) Such a scene from Mr Ang is not uncommon. His skills were demonstrated in class and in lectures, to superb effect. He transformed a regular boring lecture (okay maybe because the lecturer cant write as well as him...) into one that is hyped up (with laughter from our class), engaging (with him talking or in simpler words, kp-ing) and exciting (more kp-ing).
The Press apologise for being unable to upload a certain soundtrack. We will solve the problem and bring about more entertainment. Our main aim is to bring entertainment to a whole new level (just like Professor Ching of the University of S64 that managed to find alternative methods of using test tubes and boiling tubes and Mr Jeremy Ang, a pioneer and leading researcher in kp-ing), with the use of bombastic simple words that are easily comprehensible with a combination of visual and audio accompaniment.
Mr Chuang, the president of the Jokers' Association gave his comment on the fac prince's handsomeness. Its widely acclaimed that the fac prince is not just handsome, but is *ahem* handsome. According to our fac head.
The fac prince's handsomeness is not just recognised by our class, but even by Fish Tank and the Chicken rice stall. This will be reflected in the following videos below.
Disclaimer: The fac prince is in the video, however, due to his plea for anonymity, we shall not point out who is the fac prince.
Disclaimer' (differentiate disclaimer w.r.t video) : The sound quality is not that good, thanks to the Fish Tank uncle asking people for 20-cent coins for buying hotdogs. He simply has to ask every single person that buys a hotdog on tuesdays especially, accounting for the poor sound quality. (Actually he would say :"got 20 cent? i return u $1" if ure paying him a $2 note and he repeats it to everyone in the queue) Turn your volume louder to catch the content of the conservations. (ENJOY! :D)
NO VIDEOS GUYS! :(
As the famous saying goes (i quote from Mr Chuang), "Just that you are handsome, doesn't mean I'm stupid".
Such words of wisdom are rarely heard in the current society where everyone aims to be best in looks (being handsome) and intellect (not stupid). Mr Chuang is a true epitome of joker-hood. His wits and mental speed are beyond the measurements of science, no SI unit or prefixes can define the speed at which his brain thinks. Doctors and physicists round the world marvel at his amazing brain capacity that poses a threat to the famous physicists of all time, Albert Einstein, that was rumoured to be very smart.
Now for our usual advertisement....
Feeling lucky today?
Go and buy 4-D almost 100% gurantee for winning the top prize.
Not convinced?
Look at this:
thats Hugo boss mugging. Even Hugo, the man that is always hanging around in school all the way till evening before CONSIDERING going home.*
Note:*Intelligence reports provided us with an insight that his presence was for protection of the fac prince and princess. Even more intelligence revealed that he must be kept unknown so that random people would not try and eliminate him and attempt to assassinate the fac prince and princess.
A testimony from an anonymous source:
"... Hugo was NEVER spotted mugging before. This is one of the rarest times where is spotted mugging. After i saw him mugging, my friends and I went for a game of pool. For some reason, even with my lack of skill in the game, i could win despite being blindfolded throughout the entire game! ..."
Thats all from Jokers' Association Press, Issue 5
Registration number: 190509
P.S the lack of VIDEOS is not due to negligence, but its due to the President's displeasure.
There is actually a demand for jokes in our class. So much so that people have actually volunteered to join the exco of the Jokers' Association. Its actually Miss Sun Tianjia, who is recently nominated for vice president. There is she, featured in the picture below as the act cute pretty one in the act cute sweet pose.
Apparently not many people share the sediments of cuteness and sweetness (As expressed by the person beside her....)
Another interesting fact....
Research has shown that people do not think they are something when they actually did something. (looks to cheem for your eyes? (taking that you do have eyes that are not short-sighted or long-sighted or blind or have eyesight corrected)) Lets take Xue An for example (our dearest president, although he denies that he crack jokes and the fact is that his jokes are epic funny), his classic one liner jokes are able to create laughter. Who say energy is conserved in a system? Xue An proved it otherwise, laughing energy can be created. By who? By him!
The above picture might have seem like a scene in a normal classroom... but take a closer look.. our princess had her chair(x2), and according to intelligence reports, we believe that she does not know. Although logically she would have felt the difference, nonetheless we do not rule out the fact that it could have been an intentional act that allows her to be able to engage in class discussions better. The special operations team is working on how to enable the princess to gain the best view of the front of the classroom with minimal distruption to the peaceful commoners around her.
Even more NEWS! (wait is it news'week? why so many news ah...?)
OK OK. Again, from various intelligence agencies around the class, we have observed an increasing trend in the number of people snoozing during lessons. However due to the effectiveness of the investigation team we have traced the problem down to a single individual, Mr Luo. This native chinese was noticed to be sleeping during various lessons. His stances were extraordinary. His ability in sleeping surpasses every individual i have ever met. His stealth and silence makes him easily un-spottable. Furthermore, in the event where he is noticed, he changes his tactic and is able to face up to all forms of confrontation.
Advertisement:
Want to know more about beauty?
Want to have perfect skin?
Its all in the august edition of CHIQUE (idk which publisher prints it..)
The recent chain of events in the region has brought about uncertainties and many similar occurrences in Singapore.
Case 1:
Apart from the recent swine flu outbreak, there has been another fever going around. And that's the "Chinese chess fever". It was observed that many people were affected. That includes Mr Chuang (President of the current Jokers' Association).
As we can see, its Mr Chuang, The Derric and MCQ against Fac prince Kevin and his 2 other best buddies, Ishak and Tanzil (3v3 match). The fever totally caught everyone off guard and even the Cheerful Cheers IC had to stick out his tongue to relieve the heat inside him. It's believed that the Chinese Chess Fever was brought into Singapore by Ishak when he returned to further his studies in a prestigious college. Somewhere in the Bukit Timah area.
Case 2:
It was released by the press that Mas Selamat was caught in JB. However there are individuals who seek to learn from Mas Selamat. We have pictorial evidence that a certain fugitive from Malaysia has escaped and is Singapore at the moment. The police have released information that this guy is unarmed, but is still dangerous with the wide spectrum of "sick stuffs" that he sprouts from his mouth. This includes a certain rumour about a test tube and a human being. There were suggestions that this fugitive is in Singapore as his ID card was spotted in Singapore.
The information above will help us apprehend the fugitive. Hence we urge everyone to call this number if you spot him.
Emergency hotline: 96316691
Alternatively u can also call in a special task force at the s64 class bench. Any individual that spot the fugitive should never attempt to apprehend him. (The big boys will do the job)
Case 3:
Calling all fans of Wang KuanHe. Kuanhe is currently giving out photos of himself to all his fans. Interested parties may contact him at the 09s64 class bench. There are 2 different versions of photos for floater wang.
1)All smiles
and
2)Act cute
Each photo is charged at a price as stated by him. Strictly no bargaining. KPIC will be on stand by should anyone attempt to bargain. (KPIC is getting a portion of the earnings i think...?)
Story:
Picture courtesy of MCQ
People looking sian during a lesson. Such a situation had occurred before, but never was it during a tutorial session. I am sure the relevant tutors might not want to look into the issue and eliminate those who possess the wrong attitude towards learning.
Previously we have introduced the VIPs in the class...
(VIP = Various important persons)
After today's visit to the kbox at cineleisure, i am proud to reveal that we do have even more talents that we think we have. Take for example, we have Guo Shu, apparently enjoying singing. But then again it could be due to the fact that singing during morning assembly just wasnt enough for the avid singer.
Having mentioned avid singers, we need to take another look at our KP-IC (kaopei guy la..) This kaopei enthusiast needs to flaunt his kaopei-ing skills not just in school, but in Kbox too. We have photographic proof that he was kaopei-ing others through the use of a song. (I have interviewed a few other passerby in the area and they said they heard a loud kaopei-sound-alike noise from room 6 at kbox cineleisure.) This novel method of kaopei-ing was totally alien to everyone. I strongly believe that My Jeremy (our KPIC) is a true pioneer in the field of kaopei-ing and i think the class would strongly support his future endeavours in the field of KP.
There u go, picture of our dearest KPIC.
Moving down the list, we now also have to introduce Mr Ching (commonly known as a mugger) that has potential for singing. He is a totally different person when we compare him to other members of the class. The CHINese MapHacker (ChingMengHang) has a knack of finding the people he WANT and NEED through his amazing hidden talent. However, he failed terribly today, missing two bus to cineleisure from his Six-storey apartment in the bukit timah estate that is complete with swimming pool and 24-hr security guards.
That explains why he needed to keep his face hidden from view. Being able to find others is just a single talent in his arsenal. He also have the ability to be multilingual, speaking english, chinese, cantonese, malay and many more languages. He demonstrated that during the session with a variety of cantonese songs (chosen by miss li).
Okay, i just noticed we totally neglected our fac prince. The reason why we had the awesome singing session at cine was thanks to the works of our fac prince. Our fac prince is from the school choir (that recently won GoldWithHonours thanks to his presence). He had also secretly joined 海蝶recording company. Thats why the room we were in was plastered with all forms of signs and wallpaper from 海蝶. It was rumoured that there was an increase in sales of CD by 海蝶 ever since Kevin & Ishak joined them. Tanzil could not join due to personal matters.
Mr fac prince arrived on time* at Somerset Mrt.
*the time fac prince arrives is always the starting time for all events
The video below will clearly illustrate to us the power in the fac prince's voice and the stance he takes, the professionalism in his singing etc. (too many to mention)
And now, the joker's association proudly presents: The Derric
a bit of bg about THE DERRIC. The Derric was not noticed before (a total waste) until one monday... The sun was in the sky, the wind was gently blowing, the history people went to take their lecture test and the others went to A401 for PT (party time, as defined by our president, Mr Chuang). Our beloved CT wanted to call upon the previously known derric. However, she felt the presence of THE DERRIC and called upon his skills to find out if Hugo was present that day or not. The Derric never disappoints nor fails, he found out that Hugo was absent and sent a message to our CT to inform her so.
OK. Enough of the talkshow. We all know that picture speaks a thousand words. Means i have at least spoken 6000 words... if u know yr math well enuf u would know its way beyond 6000.
Now group photo with our Physics tutor. :D
BIg thanks to Miss Li for the treat.
Thats all from Jokers' Association Press, Issue 2.
In the light of the recent events, the fac prince has decided to bring his ability to be zai everywhere. Here's an example:
The fac prince WAS trying to do pull ups on the bus (thanks to xue an for informing the world on the prince's latest actions) Picture was taken 0.00001s after the fac prince figured that his fame was about to be spreaded even further, beyond the boundaries of our class.
Okay some random commercial. two of the many jokers in class, were caught dozing off AFTER physics lecture.
This was despite the fact that the KP-IC of the class was sitting behind them..
Now, back. The peranakan musuem was stormed by this group of people. Of which A FEW of them are suspected of being either infected with a random kind of flu, commonly known as swine flu OR there is a fugitive amongst them trying to hide from the authorities but wants to be noticed at the same time. (im referring to the masked guy in the picture below)
And now for some more heart warming pictures:
This is PART (why dint the rest appear?) of the most imba Athena class in the entire hwachong history. Its everything about "you-name-it, we-have it". It is to everyone's disappointment that the fac head, Mr Tan Wenshan was unable to attend the coffee session due to the fact that he is in demand everywhere. However, we do have with us the KP-IC (Mr Jeremy Ang), all the way to the joker's association President, Mr Chuang (although he denies the fact), and until the most famous Faculty Prince & Princess, Tanzil & Melvis. (im sorry to announce that kevin and ishak were unable to make it for the event today) And one last thing, we do have the best CT too.
ALright thats all I have for now.
Guys please rmb that u all have to come up with the GPP presentation by tml. And err, econs ILP presentation too, if u all forgotten. :D
P.S please forgive the lack in quality of the pictures. I have uploaded them onto facebook too. Those with the other pictures please add on to the post by editing it. thanks.
